Tim Schnabel. I remember that name, I think. Wasn't he the thing we used to turn to get out of Mr. Hurst's classroom. Wait, no, no, no, that was the doorknob. Yep, that was the old doorknob, firlmy afixed as I recall, to the ooold door. Hmm....good times. That door was somthing, alright; always open...or closed...or kinda halfway there sometimes. It's funny how you see a doorknob so many times and you never think that it'll make it anything of itself. But here it is, reading and writing and going to Yale and really making a go of it. I didn't see that coming.
But more seriously, I do remember Tim a little. And speaking of little, he must be much taller now. I bet Delmar is not as high, however. Tim's sister Megan was in my class. Yep, Megan the 'Curve Killer', we used to call her. Nahh, just kidding, we didn't call her anything because we never talked to her or about her. She was always a good girl, though. Well, I guess she was, like I said, we never talked to her. She was crazy for jazz, I think. But enough about crazy Megan. Oh, one more thing...Robin Hubers once explained to me that she went over to Megan's to sleep over one weekend and Megan asked her if she wanted to do some homework. I told her she should let that be a lesson to her and to never speak to Megan again. No I didn't. I don't remember what I said, but I'm sure I wasn't funny or smart or helpful in any way. I'm much better now, though. But I never see Robin. It's just as well, though; I remember good times with the oold Robin Hubers, well, I mean the young Robin Hubers, actually. Yep...good times...oh, and she was a bitch most of the time. Boy, this turned out to be a 'hot & cold' trip down memory lane. But enough about Steve...(sorry, but "but enough about Steve" is a wonderful reference to Steve Childress, and ooold roomate of Brad Tinker. Brad and I used that reference often and loved it. You may or may not have known or remember).
Back to Tim. He, like his holligan sister, who shall remain nameless, liked homework. It may not be a coincidence that his name is almost Tim School. Well, not almost, but sorta. Maybe it's almost Dim Nobel or Tim's No Bell or Dems Noble, the latest employing a usefull phrase and a funny accent that I am confident has been uttered at some point in time. Hmm...maybe I'm almost Yeahs and Bird, you know, with a thick Brooklyn accent.
It occurs to me that we have a high percentage of well-educated lawyers or lawyers to be associated with TCCS. Well, not really a high percentage, but more than expected by me, not that I expected even one, no matter how much Lori Keyzer talked about becoming a lawyer someday because she liked to argue. I wonder what she's up to these days. I also remember her fondly...good times, good times. Bet she's not a bloggin Yaley, huh.
A Page for All (who are invited). Topics include but are not limited to: Things Kerry reads in the paper, Things Kerry reads online, Things broken in the ECU library by Jason & Kyle (mostly by Kyle), Amy's Buddha thingy on the left side margin, and if you check back every 6 months or so, a bit of moody, self-indulgent crap by the witty and urbane purveyor of this damn blog page who wishes he could blog in an English accent with a funny voice.
Search Our Blog
Friday, January 07, 2005
Tuesday, November 02, 2004
You know...it's not just a cool website name..
Motley Crue - You're All I Need
The blade of my knife
Faced away from your heart
Those last few nights
It turned and sliced you apart
This love that I tell
Now feels lonely as hell
From this padded prison cell
So many times I said
You'd only be mine
I gave my blood and my tears
And loved you cyanide
When you took my lips
I took your breath
Sometimes love's better off dead
You're all I need, make you only mine
I loved you so I set you free
I had to take your life
You're all I need, you're all I need
You're all I need,
And I loved you so, but you didn't love me
Laid out cold
Now we're both alone
But killing you helped me keep you home
I guess it was bad
Cause love can be sad
But we finally made the news
Tied up smiling
I thought you were happy
Never opened your eyes
I thought you were napping
I got so much to learn
About love in this world
But we finally made the news
You're all I need, make you only mine
I love you, So I set you free, I had to take your life
You're all I need, you're all I need, you're all I need
I love you so, so I put you to sleep.
Sunday, October 31, 2004
This is even funnier than my funny website names...
This is one of the little things that gives me the ability to look past the fact that in a few days our country may become the dumbest collective in the post 'point-and-grunt' history of great apes and humans. I can't figure out how to embed this file into a post (this is the first time I've ever tried it) so I've just posted a link to it for now.
Oh, and if you really like NurtiGrain bars, you'll love it.
Oh, and if you really like NurtiGrain bars, you'll love it.
Monday, October 25, 2004
Funny website names
A few years ago I started a file for storing website names that I thought would be funny. I thought that if I bought a domain that maybe I could use one of these for my site. Anyway, here they are. Many of them reflect on movies or nonsense or movies about nonsense, but I thought I would share them in hopes of amusing you. I wonder which ones are favorites.
www.bananashoestring.0catch.com
www.icecreamandcollards.0catch.com
www.lizardslip.0catch.com
www.shrubbery.0catch.com
www.argos.com
www.ihatekarlmalone.com
www.pardonme.com
www.longacre.com
www.thethillisgone.com
www.sportyspider.com
www.manbitesgod.com
www.bigbounce.com
www.goldenfleece.com
www.jasonboyd.com
www.imintrigued.com
www.iloveamy.com
www.andanotherthing.com
www.thereisnogod.com
www.pip.com
www.drink.com
www.pissoff.com
www.irregardless.com
www.thehorror.com
www.thecaretakerhere.com
www.hilloyd.com
www.whatwillitbe.com
www.temporarilylight.com
www.thatsswell.com
www.fivemiserablemonths.com
www.wordsofwisdom.com
www.butitdid.com
www.inandofitself.com
www.quiteastory.com
www.stackedneatly.com
www.butatsomepoint.com
www.tuesday.com
www.theinterview.com
www.nobodytoplaywith.com
www.goldenbrown.com
www.neverafrown.com
www.room237.com
www.twothreeseven.com
www.killmylandlord.com
www.greatdanesinthewater.com
www.letthebigdogeat.com
www.7kindsofwhathaveyou.com
www.kickinback.com
www.shinola.com
www.tiedupsmiling.com
www.bananashoestring.0catch.com
www.icecreamandcollards.0catch.com
www.lizardslip.0catch.com
www.shrubbery.0catch.com
www.argos.com
www.ihatekarlmalone.com
www.pardonme.com
www.longacre.com
www.thethillisgone.com
www.sportyspider.com
www.manbitesgod.com
www.bigbounce.com
www.goldenfleece.com
www.jasonboyd.com
www.imintrigued.com
www.iloveamy.com
www.andanotherthing.com
www.thereisnogod.com
www.pip.com
www.drink.com
www.pissoff.com
www.irregardless.com
www.thehorror.com
www.thecaretakerhere.com
www.hilloyd.com
www.whatwillitbe.com
www.temporarilylight.com
www.thatsswell.com
www.fivemiserablemonths.com
www.wordsofwisdom.com
www.butitdid.com
www.inandofitself.com
www.quiteastory.com
www.stackedneatly.com
www.butatsomepoint.com
www.tuesday.com
www.theinterview.com
www.nobodytoplaywith.com
www.goldenbrown.com
www.neverafrown.com
www.room237.com
www.twothreeseven.com
www.killmylandlord.com
www.greatdanesinthewater.com
www.letthebigdogeat.com
www.7kindsofwhathaveyou.com
www.kickinback.com
www.shinola.com
www.tiedupsmiling.com
Saturday, September 18, 2004
Wednesday, September 15, 2004
Infrequent brooding post by Jason
I used two toothpaste brand names in this blog without referring to toothpaste.
Do I agree that people are basically good? Nope. But whereas I definitely don’t dig the “are” part of the standard question, the “basically” part makes me positively gleam. Here are my thoughts; get ‘em while they’re mild.
All people want to be good. Very few are actually good. It is in human nature that we all want to make sense of things and apply understanding to out actions. We want to do what’s right, but that, sometimes if not usually, requires more resource than what we have. Therefore, it’s kinda hard to be good, and that’s the problem.
Most of us (about a Dove soap’s percentage, if not greater) are not very good at being alive. Oh, sure, some of our showiest participants can breath continually and eat every once in a while, but…well, come to think of it, we’ve created pitfalls in those two very basic areas of being alive, haven’t we? Just think about the two for 3.7 seconds and you will find a familiar way of doing each that combats our approach of staying alive. So yeah, we mostly try to stay somewhere above the death curve while we wedge fleeting thoughts of changing the world into paradise between the omnipresent consciousnesses of our inadequacies.
Dennis Miller, back before he accidentally lobotomized himself with too many funny-proof, obscure and unlinked references, said about then president Clinton that (and I’m paraphrasing here because I can’t find the quote) Clinton was basically a good man, but a man whose aspirations went beyond his abilities. Well, that, in a kernel carcass, is our cross to bear as humans. We all want to do good things, but we don’t always know how.
It brings me to think about how intelligent man is and where he fits in the evolution of our species. I think that we are at a point in human history where the tide is in. This is the trough waiting for the crest. We are in a corrective mode. Right now we are incontinent in our philosophical goals in that we are smart enough to know what to do, but too dumb to either motivate ourselves or figure out how to do it. So in the mean time we will just go play racquetball…or smoke some grass, or make a puppet, or sneeze, or whatever takes up enough time to allow our brains to move past its quest for greatness and truth and onto a quest for a taco.
By the way, I also remember when Dennis Miller would graciously and honestly say, “But that’s just my opinion, I could be wrong”. I should save some animosity for when that topic comes up on the blog page.
My point is that everybody, and I mean everybody, wants to be the best person in the world, admired and loved by everyone else. It is our collective and individual dream to find the solutions for which mankind has been searching so that we can build better humans. It is our daily work that mimics the unseen and unrecognized passion that lies, dormant in most, deep within our core being. We are here as part of the human set, priced too high but bought on sale, and our brains know that.
We desire the good because it makes sense to us, and we quickly abandon its pursuit because we can stretch our thinking only so far in a day before it come caroming back to us, hitting us in the eye. For me, I want to take out the little perfect part of my brain and show it to the world in hopes of advancing us all to a point beyond pain and insecurity and ignorance, but I can’t because I’m not smart enough to figure out how to do it.
Do I agree that people are basically good? Nope. But whereas I definitely don’t dig the “are” part of the standard question, the “basically” part makes me positively gleam. Here are my thoughts; get ‘em while they’re mild.
All people want to be good. Very few are actually good. It is in human nature that we all want to make sense of things and apply understanding to out actions. We want to do what’s right, but that, sometimes if not usually, requires more resource than what we have. Therefore, it’s kinda hard to be good, and that’s the problem.
Most of us (about a Dove soap’s percentage, if not greater) are not very good at being alive. Oh, sure, some of our showiest participants can breath continually and eat every once in a while, but…well, come to think of it, we’ve created pitfalls in those two very basic areas of being alive, haven’t we? Just think about the two for 3.7 seconds and you will find a familiar way of doing each that combats our approach of staying alive. So yeah, we mostly try to stay somewhere above the death curve while we wedge fleeting thoughts of changing the world into paradise between the omnipresent consciousnesses of our inadequacies.
Dennis Miller, back before he accidentally lobotomized himself with too many funny-proof, obscure and unlinked references, said about then president Clinton that (and I’m paraphrasing here because I can’t find the quote) Clinton was basically a good man, but a man whose aspirations went beyond his abilities. Well, that, in a kernel carcass, is our cross to bear as humans. We all want to do good things, but we don’t always know how.
It brings me to think about how intelligent man is and where he fits in the evolution of our species. I think that we are at a point in human history where the tide is in. This is the trough waiting for the crest. We are in a corrective mode. Right now we are incontinent in our philosophical goals in that we are smart enough to know what to do, but too dumb to either motivate ourselves or figure out how to do it. So in the mean time we will just go play racquetball…or smoke some grass, or make a puppet, or sneeze, or whatever takes up enough time to allow our brains to move past its quest for greatness and truth and onto a quest for a taco.
By the way, I also remember when Dennis Miller would graciously and honestly say, “But that’s just my opinion, I could be wrong”. I should save some animosity for when that topic comes up on the blog page.
My point is that everybody, and I mean everybody, wants to be the best person in the world, admired and loved by everyone else. It is our collective and individual dream to find the solutions for which mankind has been searching so that we can build better humans. It is our daily work that mimics the unseen and unrecognized passion that lies, dormant in most, deep within our core being. We are here as part of the human set, priced too high but bought on sale, and our brains know that.
We desire the good because it makes sense to us, and we quickly abandon its pursuit because we can stretch our thinking only so far in a day before it come caroming back to us, hitting us in the eye. For me, I want to take out the little perfect part of my brain and show it to the world in hopes of advancing us all to a point beyond pain and insecurity and ignorance, but I can’t because I’m not smart enough to figure out how to do it.
Monday, July 26, 2004
Family Guy Returns
Yep. Fox offered Seth MacFarland a deal for 35 new episodes of Family guy! Hell yes!!! And just when I was about to memorize all the existing ones.
Saturday, July 24, 2004
Thursday, July 22, 2004
I have no responsibilities here whatsoever...
At it happens, I haven't seen Legends of the Fall, therefore I will be forced to refrain from commenting on it via Jason Boyd's Blog Page (<-- click just here if you cannot find this page). If you haven't noticed (or even if you have), I haven't posted much this year. Since I have nothing to say about anything anyway, apparently, it won't be as hard to keep from posting as I made it out to be in the first sentence. Cheerio!
Wednesday, June 02, 2004
I suppose I Should have eaten before I got here, but anyway...
I'm not really a dessert person, so maybe a Dinner Atol, or a Late Night Snack Islet. Anyway, my top ten albums would be:
Led Zeppelin IV
Led Zeppelin - Physical Graffiti
Led Zeppelin - Houses of the Holy
Billy Joel - The Stranger or Piano Man or fudge it with a compliled works disc of hits
Allman Brothers Band - Eat a Peach or Beginnings or the compilation thing again
Bob Marley - One Love
Def Leppard - High 'N' Dry
Metallica - Metallica
Pearl Jam - Ten
Pink - Dark Side of the Moon
Van Halen - 1984
ZZ Top - Tres Hombres or Greatest Hits
Ratt - Out of the Cellar
Nirvana - Nevermind
I certainly could consolidate the Led Zeppelin albums into a greatest hits collection or maybe their box set, but that might be cheating and I don't know if I could get it through customs and all with the terrorism and high security alerts these days. I think we are at winterpale blue, or is it still buttercup cream? I can't remember. But if I could bribe the guards or something I could probably find some album with all the greatest hits from the late 1980's on one terrific album, probably at a low, low price paid in three cheap installments. That would narrow down my list considerably, so I could add The Doors or The Cars or if I get lucky, The Car Doors. And that right there frees up another slot. I'm getting excited about this Brunch Isle or Prime Rib Buffet Sandbar or whatever it turns out to be. I'm bringing a deck of cards because, you know, it may rain. Can I take my computer? 'Cause if I could, I wouldn't need the albums at all. I guess that question takes away from the point of this topic, though. Anyway, it sounds like fun.
Incidently, I am not familiar with about 7 of the 10 album mentioned above. Actually, they are below, aren't they? Also, I listed more than 10 and I have no excuse.
Led Zeppelin IV
Led Zeppelin - Physical Graffiti
Led Zeppelin - Houses of the Holy
Billy Joel - The Stranger or Piano Man or fudge it with a compliled works disc of hits
Allman Brothers Band - Eat a Peach or Beginnings or the compilation thing again
Bob Marley - One Love
Def Leppard - High 'N' Dry
Metallica - Metallica
Pearl Jam - Ten
Pink - Dark Side of the Moon
Van Halen - 1984
ZZ Top - Tres Hombres or Greatest Hits
Ratt - Out of the Cellar
Nirvana - Nevermind
I certainly could consolidate the Led Zeppelin albums into a greatest hits collection or maybe their box set, but that might be cheating and I don't know if I could get it through customs and all with the terrorism and high security alerts these days. I think we are at winterpale blue, or is it still buttercup cream? I can't remember. But if I could bribe the guards or something I could probably find some album with all the greatest hits from the late 1980's on one terrific album, probably at a low, low price paid in three cheap installments. That would narrow down my list considerably, so I could add The Doors or The Cars or if I get lucky, The Car Doors. And that right there frees up another slot. I'm getting excited about this Brunch Isle or Prime Rib Buffet Sandbar or whatever it turns out to be. I'm bringing a deck of cards because, you know, it may rain. Can I take my computer? 'Cause if I could, I wouldn't need the albums at all. I guess that question takes away from the point of this topic, though. Anyway, it sounds like fun.
Incidently, I am not familiar with about 7 of the 10 album mentioned above. Actually, they are below, aren't they? Also, I listed more than 10 and I have no excuse.
Thursday, May 06, 2004
Just a short response
I think you are right to categorize torture as morally wrong but you may be arguing against people who look at dilemma in a totally different way. If you say that you put torture in a category of moral unacceptability, then that puts you in a different sect of thinkers and problem solvers than those with whom you are in disagreement. I think that people who argue that torture is okay and are willing to weigh out the good are possibly the kind of people who look for debatable information rather than for reliable assurance. These people may be more comfortable on the fence of issues than working intellectually toward a mental solution that would then give them a clear opinion, properly reflective of themselves.
Sometimes I think that harsh certainty one way or another on an issue like this (or possibly anything) shows a lack of enlightenment as to how one thing is part of a much bigger issue. I automatically dismiss to some degree anyone who says that they know that abortion is wrong or that capital punishment should be abolished. Even if someone’s general opinion is the same as mine, I have to also agree with him as to how he arrives at such a position. And if someone is a little too passionate for my moderate taste, I am immediately alarmed that he and I are likely to think very differently about life. For instance, if someone told me that he takes no issue with torture if it saves lives, then he would be showing me his restricted scope of his attitude toward the rest of the world. That person may take more seriously the argument of torture than the reality of torture.
This “flexibility” allows them to mold their “beliefs” to what is important to them, like the company they keep or personal circumstances. I would be willing to bet that this mentality is a reverse logic system fueled by trivial bias. People seem to be “installed” with a set of core beliefs that only make sense when you start there and work backward to justify it. I invite you to imagine how far away from someone’s point B one actually can get through valid logic. But I should get back to the topic at hand.
If torture is justified in any way, then one can ask, “Are we acting for terrorism or against it?” Harming someone for a greater good is a pretty good working definition for terrorism. Terrorists use this tactic to startle and scare people into doing things their ways. Taking a stand for non-violence would require that one not use violent techniques to accomplish goals. In other words, don’t hit someone back to try to teach them that hitting is wrong. In the end, serving as an example of your values not only preserves them in yourself and in others like you, but it solidifies them in the minds of opponents as inextinguishable.
I enjoyed that last paragraph of your post but I have to disagree with you on some minor points. I think that your rant did not start until you proclaimed that it had ended and that you were knowingly and willingly unfair, but correct with some good points. However, I know that you didn’t really think that the particularly religious with whom you spoke on this issue would have been guided by moral absolutes. In addition, you were very bold in suggesting that there is room for logical requisites in religion, but you’re wrong, and you know it. Sorry, but I just can’t let you get away with it for the sake of bringing up good points about the religious. My diligence consumes me like the “burning bush” its leaves.
Sometimes I think that harsh certainty one way or another on an issue like this (or possibly anything) shows a lack of enlightenment as to how one thing is part of a much bigger issue. I automatically dismiss to some degree anyone who says that they know that abortion is wrong or that capital punishment should be abolished. Even if someone’s general opinion is the same as mine, I have to also agree with him as to how he arrives at such a position. And if someone is a little too passionate for my moderate taste, I am immediately alarmed that he and I are likely to think very differently about life. For instance, if someone told me that he takes no issue with torture if it saves lives, then he would be showing me his restricted scope of his attitude toward the rest of the world. That person may take more seriously the argument of torture than the reality of torture.
This “flexibility” allows them to mold their “beliefs” to what is important to them, like the company they keep or personal circumstances. I would be willing to bet that this mentality is a reverse logic system fueled by trivial bias. People seem to be “installed” with a set of core beliefs that only make sense when you start there and work backward to justify it. I invite you to imagine how far away from someone’s point B one actually can get through valid logic. But I should get back to the topic at hand.
If torture is justified in any way, then one can ask, “Are we acting for terrorism or against it?” Harming someone for a greater good is a pretty good working definition for terrorism. Terrorists use this tactic to startle and scare people into doing things their ways. Taking a stand for non-violence would require that one not use violent techniques to accomplish goals. In other words, don’t hit someone back to try to teach them that hitting is wrong. In the end, serving as an example of your values not only preserves them in yourself and in others like you, but it solidifies them in the minds of opponents as inextinguishable.
I enjoyed that last paragraph of your post but I have to disagree with you on some minor points. I think that your rant did not start until you proclaimed that it had ended and that you were knowingly and willingly unfair, but correct with some good points. However, I know that you didn’t really think that the particularly religious with whom you spoke on this issue would have been guided by moral absolutes. In addition, you were very bold in suggesting that there is room for logical requisites in religion, but you’re wrong, and you know it. Sorry, but I just can’t let you get away with it for the sake of bringing up good points about the religious. My diligence consumes me like the “burning bush” its leaves.
Monday, March 08, 2004
Happiness-induced Depression
I haven’t posted in a long time because of the state of me. Recently, I have become happier in the things that matter the most in my life, i.e. my personal relationships, my understanding of myself, my philosophy on life and death, my place in our universe, my teeth (I finally went to the dentist, no cavities). I reached the happiest point in my life to date and I saw my future only getting better (queue Timbuk 3). I was a man on the top of the mountain reflecting on his journey with inner calm and personal fulfillment. What’s more, I felt that I didn’t really have to climb anymore and I wasn’t going to fall. A big part of my overall ascent was complete, and I couldn’t have gone back if I had wanted to.
Now, I see my significance in the world and understand what’s inside me. I have made the connections from a boy with tendencies for this and that to a man who comprehends why and how certain instincts, which seem to drain you along the way to peace, put your life into your own hands in a way that makes sense to you in a profound and meaningful way. And I’m not even out of breath from the climb. This sounds really good, but I didn’t anticipate where it would leave me.
But where does that leave me? Of course there will always be rock above, but when I was climbing, there were so many people along the way. Sometimes I could climb with them, other times I would only know that they were near. Sometimes they were above me, sometime below. Sometimes both. I may have braced others who didn’t have the strength to hold on, or vice versa. I probably even knocked some of them downward in the past. In fact, I know that I did, for meanness, for selfishness, or just to see them fall.
On the Rock
But with every step came the comforting thought that others have used before and would use in future the same rock that I was using at that moment. I may have been on my own path to the top, but I had never been alone. But I am alone now. And the world seems very far away from me, and something of which I want no part.
Now that I am above it, I can put away speculation and truly see the world for what it is. I am nothing like those who adhere themselves to groups of people to spread mindless interruption or share particular childish emptiness. A part of me is stolen by the Ann Coulters of political scenes (whose rigid minds leave nothing open to non-emotional discussion) and by the MTV broadcasters and gazers (who look to distraction as a way of life). Some of my peace is gone because of the pettiness and selfishness of the people who lack the courage to choose honesty and diligence over lies and ignorance. The growth and understanding for which I have spent 30 years searching, I have found. But with it came the unexpected unveiling of the easiness with which others live without conviction or purpose, which allows them to drown in diversion and excuse mistreatment and abuse.
I see many too many people around me who chose long ago what they would like to believe. In accordance, they have spent their whole lives working on a formula for removing truth from life so that what is left can be rationalized into their initial belief. It is like a magician trying to fool himself into thinking that he made the dove appear out of nothing. Kerry and Kyle will remember the discussion that we had in the car coming back from Myrtle Beach with Brad many years ago about the question “Can you choose what you believe?” Brad “remembered” scoring more points per game than he actually did because he “chose” to believe it. But he couldn’t really have made himself believe something that he initially knew was not true; he could only ignore the fact and represent the lie as truth. This prevalent practice only leads to dilute one’s personal meaning of truth down to irrelevancy. And without a reality, the only reason to hold on to the mountain is so you don’t fall, and meet your ultimate truth.
But without that world below me, how do I live? I am virtually alone and it feels worse than being one of the lost sheep that doesn’t even know where it’s going. Everything I see in that world is influenced by greed and corruption. Like trying to breath without air, I am searching for the goodness in the world so that my spirit will not suffocate under the blanket of selfishness, fear, ignorance, and denial. Now that my spark has lit, I want to be a light to those in the dark, but there is no darkness anymore, there is only light, and mine is too dim to catch an eye. Remember the end of the movie Pulp Fiction. In the diner, Jules (Samuel L. Jackson) reflects on his pre-murder monologue to Ringo (Tim Roth). He talks about a bible verse that parables the shepherd and his flock.
"The path of the righteous man is beset on all sides by the inequities of the selfish and the tyranny of evil men. Blessed is he who, in the name of charity and good will, shepherds the weak through the valley of the darkness. For he is truly his brother's keeper and the finder of lost children. And I will strike down upon thee with great vengeance and furious anger those who attempt to poison and destroy my brothers. And you will know I am the Lord when I lay my vengeance upon you."
At the end of this, Jules says to Ringo with chilling certainty,
“But that shit ain't the truth. The truth is…you're the weak, and I'm the tyranny of evil men. But I'm tryin', Ringo…I’m tryin' real hard to be a shepherd.”
Maybe Jules initially thought that he and Ringo were not that different. But he is now realizing that they are not the same right now, not while Jules has the 9mm in his hand.
The power of the situation divides them in a way where good and bad do not exist, but where there is only the juxtaposition of the weak and the strong, the defenseless and the protected, the vulnerable and the vicious.
In reality, there is no part of the world that is not touched by this paradigm, and its influence is increasing. For most, power is the law of man. Power eliminates the need to be good and it changes peoples’ opinions about what is right, even in the rock hard presence of the truth. For some, the truth means nothing without power to illuminate it.
Men who believe in power
I have long believed that you can judge the character of a person by how they treat animals. If someone cares for a living thing solely for the well being of that living thing, then that person can be seen as compassionate towards others. To me, this is an issue of power.
When a person has the power to affect others and only does so in a kind way, then that person is worthy of the power he has. When someone is in a position to abuse his power but takes action so not to abuse it, then I can respect the character of that person. But many people judge men instead by the power they have, and not by how they use it.
How different are George Bush and Saddam Hussein? They both put selfishness above other people and cover it up with lies. They are evil men who will do anything that they think they can get away with. It tears me up inside to know that there are such people with such power. I have only hatred for them. I cannot be a light for them. And therefore, I am like them. My peace is gone. Everything I believe is buried under the weight of frustration, then anger, then a violent resolve to the point past indifference to others and onto contempt and disgust until I am the worst of me and the good in me is only there to remind me of all that is bad.
This period of happiness about which I spoke earlier has made a part of my canvas pure with insight and understanding, but its presence only deepens the contrast of it all. There is more bad than good, more dark than light, more ignorance than thought, more selfishness than consideration, more hurting and killing than exploration of one’s soul, more blindness than truth, more distraction than diligence, and more of them than me.
END
Now, I see my significance in the world and understand what’s inside me. I have made the connections from a boy with tendencies for this and that to a man who comprehends why and how certain instincts, which seem to drain you along the way to peace, put your life into your own hands in a way that makes sense to you in a profound and meaningful way. And I’m not even out of breath from the climb. This sounds really good, but I didn’t anticipate where it would leave me.
But where does that leave me? Of course there will always be rock above, but when I was climbing, there were so many people along the way. Sometimes I could climb with them, other times I would only know that they were near. Sometimes they were above me, sometime below. Sometimes both. I may have braced others who didn’t have the strength to hold on, or vice versa. I probably even knocked some of them downward in the past. In fact, I know that I did, for meanness, for selfishness, or just to see them fall.
On the Rock
But with every step came the comforting thought that others have used before and would use in future the same rock that I was using at that moment. I may have been on my own path to the top, but I had never been alone. But I am alone now. And the world seems very far away from me, and something of which I want no part.
Now that I am above it, I can put away speculation and truly see the world for what it is. I am nothing like those who adhere themselves to groups of people to spread mindless interruption or share particular childish emptiness. A part of me is stolen by the Ann Coulters of political scenes (whose rigid minds leave nothing open to non-emotional discussion) and by the MTV broadcasters and gazers (who look to distraction as a way of life). Some of my peace is gone because of the pettiness and selfishness of the people who lack the courage to choose honesty and diligence over lies and ignorance. The growth and understanding for which I have spent 30 years searching, I have found. But with it came the unexpected unveiling of the easiness with which others live without conviction or purpose, which allows them to drown in diversion and excuse mistreatment and abuse.
I see many too many people around me who chose long ago what they would like to believe. In accordance, they have spent their whole lives working on a formula for removing truth from life so that what is left can be rationalized into their initial belief. It is like a magician trying to fool himself into thinking that he made the dove appear out of nothing. Kerry and Kyle will remember the discussion that we had in the car coming back from Myrtle Beach with Brad many years ago about the question “Can you choose what you believe?” Brad “remembered” scoring more points per game than he actually did because he “chose” to believe it. But he couldn’t really have made himself believe something that he initially knew was not true; he could only ignore the fact and represent the lie as truth. This prevalent practice only leads to dilute one’s personal meaning of truth down to irrelevancy. And without a reality, the only reason to hold on to the mountain is so you don’t fall, and meet your ultimate truth.
But without that world below me, how do I live? I am virtually alone and it feels worse than being one of the lost sheep that doesn’t even know where it’s going. Everything I see in that world is influenced by greed and corruption. Like trying to breath without air, I am searching for the goodness in the world so that my spirit will not suffocate under the blanket of selfishness, fear, ignorance, and denial. Now that my spark has lit, I want to be a light to those in the dark, but there is no darkness anymore, there is only light, and mine is too dim to catch an eye. Remember the end of the movie Pulp Fiction. In the diner, Jules (Samuel L. Jackson) reflects on his pre-murder monologue to Ringo (Tim Roth). He talks about a bible verse that parables the shepherd and his flock.
"The path of the righteous man is beset on all sides by the inequities of the selfish and the tyranny of evil men. Blessed is he who, in the name of charity and good will, shepherds the weak through the valley of the darkness. For he is truly his brother's keeper and the finder of lost children. And I will strike down upon thee with great vengeance and furious anger those who attempt to poison and destroy my brothers. And you will know I am the Lord when I lay my vengeance upon you."
At the end of this, Jules says to Ringo with chilling certainty,
“But that shit ain't the truth. The truth is…you're the weak, and I'm the tyranny of evil men. But I'm tryin', Ringo…I’m tryin' real hard to be a shepherd.”
Maybe Jules initially thought that he and Ringo were not that different. But he is now realizing that they are not the same right now, not while Jules has the 9mm in his hand.
The power of the situation divides them in a way where good and bad do not exist, but where there is only the juxtaposition of the weak and the strong, the defenseless and the protected, the vulnerable and the vicious.
In reality, there is no part of the world that is not touched by this paradigm, and its influence is increasing. For most, power is the law of man. Power eliminates the need to be good and it changes peoples’ opinions about what is right, even in the rock hard presence of the truth. For some, the truth means nothing without power to illuminate it.
Men who believe in power
I have long believed that you can judge the character of a person by how they treat animals. If someone cares for a living thing solely for the well being of that living thing, then that person can be seen as compassionate towards others. To me, this is an issue of power.
When a person has the power to affect others and only does so in a kind way, then that person is worthy of the power he has. When someone is in a position to abuse his power but takes action so not to abuse it, then I can respect the character of that person. But many people judge men instead by the power they have, and not by how they use it.
How different are George Bush and Saddam Hussein? They both put selfishness above other people and cover it up with lies. They are evil men who will do anything that they think they can get away with. It tears me up inside to know that there are such people with such power. I have only hatred for them. I cannot be a light for them. And therefore, I am like them. My peace is gone. Everything I believe is buried under the weight of frustration, then anger, then a violent resolve to the point past indifference to others and onto contempt and disgust until I am the worst of me and the good in me is only there to remind me of all that is bad.
This period of happiness about which I spoke earlier has made a part of my canvas pure with insight and understanding, but its presence only deepens the contrast of it all. There is more bad than good, more dark than light, more ignorance than thought, more selfishness than consideration, more hurting and killing than exploration of one’s soul, more blindness than truth, more distraction than diligence, and more of them than me.
END
Tuesday, November 25, 2003
Kerry, I hope you have seen all the episodes...
My favorite Monty Python episodes are (in order):
1. Picasso on a Bike - Episode 1 - Whither Canada?
2. Ministry of Silly Walks - Episode 14 - Untitled
3. The Olympic Hide-and-seek Final - Episode 35
4. All of Episode 23 after the opening scene of a French Art Film
5. Johann Gambolputty... von Hautkopft of Ulm - Episode 6 - Untitled
6. Dead Parrot - Episode 8 - Full Frontal Nudity
7. Pornographic Bookshop/Elizabethan Pornography Smugglers - Episode 36
8. The Spam Sketch - Episode 25
9. Working Class Playwright - Episode 2 - Sex and Violence
10. The Piranha Brothers - Episode 14
11. Mosquito Hunters - Episode 21
12. Dennis Moore - Episode 37
13. Lupins - Episode 37
14. Agatha Christie Sketch (Railway Timetables) - Episode 24
15. Exploding Penguin on TV Set - Episode 22
16. Bruces - Episode 22
17. 'Spectrum' - Talking about Things - Episode 12 - Untitled
18. Coal Mine (Historical Argument) - Episode 26
19. Housing Project Built by Characters from Nineteenth-century English Literature - Episode 35
20. Climbing the North Face of the Uxbridge Road - Episode 33
21. Rival Documentaries - Episode 38
22. 'Archaeology Today' - Episode 20
23. The Idiot in Society - Episode 20
24. Election Night Special - Episode 19
1. Picasso on a Bike - Episode 1 - Whither Canada?
2. Ministry of Silly Walks - Episode 14 - Untitled
3. The Olympic Hide-and-seek Final - Episode 35
4. All of Episode 23 after the opening scene of a French Art Film
5. Johann Gambolputty... von Hautkopft of Ulm - Episode 6 - Untitled
6. Dead Parrot - Episode 8 - Full Frontal Nudity
7. Pornographic Bookshop/Elizabethan Pornography Smugglers - Episode 36
8. The Spam Sketch - Episode 25
9. Working Class Playwright - Episode 2 - Sex and Violence
10. The Piranha Brothers - Episode 14
11. Mosquito Hunters - Episode 21
12. Dennis Moore - Episode 37
13. Lupins - Episode 37
14. Agatha Christie Sketch (Railway Timetables) - Episode 24
15. Exploding Penguin on TV Set - Episode 22
16. Bruces - Episode 22
17. 'Spectrum' - Talking about Things - Episode 12 - Untitled
18. Coal Mine (Historical Argument) - Episode 26
19. Housing Project Built by Characters from Nineteenth-century English Literature - Episode 35
20. Climbing the North Face of the Uxbridge Road - Episode 33
21. Rival Documentaries - Episode 38
22. 'Archaeology Today' - Episode 20
23. The Idiot in Society - Episode 20
24. Election Night Special - Episode 19
Thursday, November 20, 2003
On Marriage
It staggers my little mind to think that people care so disproportionately much about what gay people do that they would fight against their right to marry. If currently there were a tradition of stringent laws and governmental guidelines about getting married that caused couples to prove officially that they were fit to what...receive partner health benefits, inherit things, be admitted to see someone in the hospital, whatever it might be, then I could understand that people would make a fuss. But in this country, you can marry anybody for any reason, no questions asked. Oh, well just the one, then. "Opposite sex?" Both say "yes", "I do", "I do", "I now pronounce you, governmentally official." Shit, a lesbian could marry a gay man and profess to never have sex with each other and all the government would say is, “Okay, which one of you is Chris?” It’s insane that the state has to give the go-ahead to something that [some] people hold so sacredly.
Why does the holy tradition of marriage, which joins together two souls to eternal life with only each other, involve the government, anyway? You never see a big ceremony and reception for getting a license to fish? Or to drive? Although, if I were Horace Etheridge, I would have a press conference for it. But to do something so personal and private as committing your spirit and essence of being to another person, Mr. Bains from the courthouse has to have you sign a few papers and make it all legal. It cheapens it a bit, would you say?
As you may imagine, especially if you know me well, I don't understand marriage all that much, although I don't condemn it. I don't even mind when people ask me, "So when are you and Amy getting married?" Well, I do object slightly to the "So" part, as if someone my use it to imply that marriage is the top rung on the relationship ladder and an eventuality not to be overlooked by anyone looking for the "perfect" or "blessed" couplehood. I would suggest that divorce might be the top rung, but only up against 52% of the rooftops. I would support such a line of thinking by suggesting that not all of us (possibly not any of us) are meant to spend our whole lives with just one person. And that doesn't mean that every relationship that doesn't last until one of you die is a failure, either. I think that it is perfectly natural to have different kinds of relationships that are healthy, instructive, constructive, happy and fun. I mean, whatever buoyantly supports your nautical vessel, I always say.
Why does the holy tradition of marriage, which joins together two souls to eternal life with only each other, involve the government, anyway? You never see a big ceremony and reception for getting a license to fish? Or to drive? Although, if I were Horace Etheridge, I would have a press conference for it. But to do something so personal and private as committing your spirit and essence of being to another person, Mr. Bains from the courthouse has to have you sign a few papers and make it all legal. It cheapens it a bit, would you say?
As you may imagine, especially if you know me well, I don't understand marriage all that much, although I don't condemn it. I don't even mind when people ask me, "So when are you and Amy getting married?" Well, I do object slightly to the "So" part, as if someone my use it to imply that marriage is the top rung on the relationship ladder and an eventuality not to be overlooked by anyone looking for the "perfect" or "blessed" couplehood. I would suggest that divorce might be the top rung, but only up against 52% of the rooftops. I would support such a line of thinking by suggesting that not all of us (possibly not any of us) are meant to spend our whole lives with just one person. And that doesn't mean that every relationship that doesn't last until one of you die is a failure, either. I think that it is perfectly natural to have different kinds of relationships that are healthy, instructive, constructive, happy and fun. I mean, whatever buoyantly supports your nautical vessel, I always say.
Saturday, November 08, 2003
New Bloggers?
I don't know all those who check this blog, but I would like to extend the list of those who contribute. If you, or someone you love, would like to write incredibly insightful and witty things like "in art, emotions play an important part in that they serve to stimulate the creative process and bring genius out of common thoughts and ideas" or "Grant Hill spends more time on the bench than paint" (Hollywood version would replace "paint" with "Judge Judy")*, then please email me at: gowizards@hotmail.com and I will send you an email by which you can gain membership.
* note high standard of both insight and wit
* note high standard of both insight and wit
Tuesday, November 04, 2003
Just the facts...
Incidentally, I was born around midnight on May 15, 30 years ago to two different people. I am doing so-so.
Monday, November 03, 2003
Now you see the violence inherent in the system...
My Score:
Economic Left/Right: -7.25
Libertarian/Authoritarian: -4.77
Help! Help! I'm being repressed!
My political compass is closest to Mahatma Gandhi and Nelson Mandela. I hope that they would be/are as happy to be associated with me as I am to be associated with them in this true existential barometer of significant achievement.
If there was nothing else to the survey/test than statement 15 on page 3, I would say that it definitely entertained me for more than five minutes. Take note that I may incorporate that statement into conversations and writing. There is something whimsically fatalistic in "When you are troubled, it's better not to think about it, but to keep busy with more cheerful things."
Also, it's times like these (and only times like these) when I wish I had learned more in Geometry, you know, because of the graphs.
Also Also wik... to keep with the Python theme for titles, I would officially recomend "Well I didn't vote for you" for Kyle's entry.
Economic Left/Right: -7.25
Libertarian/Authoritarian: -4.77
Help! Help! I'm being repressed!
My political compass is closest to Mahatma Gandhi and Nelson Mandela. I hope that they would be/are as happy to be associated with me as I am to be associated with them in this true existential barometer of significant achievement.
If there was nothing else to the survey/test than statement 15 on page 3, I would say that it definitely entertained me for more than five minutes. Take note that I may incorporate that statement into conversations and writing. There is something whimsically fatalistic in "When you are troubled, it's better not to think about it, but to keep busy with more cheerful things."
Also, it's times like these (and only times like these) when I wish I had learned more in Geometry, you know, because of the graphs.
Also Also wik... to keep with the Python theme for titles, I would officially recomend "Well I didn't vote for you" for Kyle's entry.
Saturday, November 01, 2003
In case you wanted to know what Maurice has been up to in New York...
Check out this link: http://wcbs.dayport.com/launcher/6436/?tf=chtopsviewer.tpl or click here
Friday, October 17, 2003
And now for something completely different...?
Kyle, will you try to bring a llama into a Lakers game to see if you could curse them. You should stipulate that the curse would remain while Karl Malone is with the team. I wish I would have thought of this sooner. Maybe I could have cursed his damn MVPs if I could have gone to his house with a mule or something. Many thanks.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)